Build trust to build relationships
Photo by Chris Liverani on Unsplash
Summary: Trust-building is essential for leaders to create strong relationships. This fosters respect, connection, and productivity. Leaders should prioritize vulnerability, follow-through, self-reflection, and growth. Trusting relationships improve team performance, innovation, and resilience in high-pressure restaurant environments.
Relationship-building is a core competency for effective leaders and managers, especially in restaurant environments, which are fast-paced and high-pressure. Functional relationships help us guide our teams and achieve the results required in our roles. They also help us be more productive and innovative, both as individuals and teams.
It’s easy to get bogged down with our day-to-day tasks as people managers and leaders. But it’s important to remember that, as leaders, it’s our responsibility to prioritize relationship-building with our team members. When you prioritize building strong, trusting relationships you’ll start to see the impact in more ways than one.
Benefits of relationship-building
When we talk about relationship-building, we like to emphasize three specific benefits for leaders:
Strong, supportive relationships across lines of power demonstrate mutual respect, which supports change and innovation. As leaders, it’s necessary for us to acknowledge that we have a certain amount of power and responsibility that differs from others on our team. When we show others–whether we report to them or they report to us–respect, it creates an open environment where communication and ideas can flow freely. At the end of the day, we all want to feel trusted and respected at work. When this mutual respect is established, it gives people confidence to take risks, which in turn promotes creative thinking and adaptability to change.
A sense of connection with others at work makes it easier to show up and be productive. It also can help people weather stressful periods and avoid feeling burned out. A high functioning workplace is one where people feel invested in each other’s success and support one another. This makes for a positive culture and work environment that’s motivating and enjoyable to be a part of.
High functioning relationships help teams achieve better results by removing friction and boosting momentum. When people work better together, they can more easily solve problems and resolve conflicts, leading to better outcomes, faster.
Trust is the foundation of strong relationships
So, how do you go about building strong relationships to begin with? We would argue that trust is the foundation of all strong relationships, and that building trust should be a primary focus for any leader, whether you’ve been in management for years or are new to your role.
But, what is trust exactly? We like to break it down into several components:
Trust is vulnerability
Being vulnerable means a willingness to accept another party’s words, actions, and choices, and giving up control or the ability to guarantee outcomes. If you’re a chef, you teach your cooks how to make a dish. By allowing them to make it during service, you are expressing vulnerability to their action. This is showing them trust.
Trust is a behavior
Our choices and the alignment of our words and actions is a foundation of trust. If you say you are going to publish the servers schedule 2 weeks in advance, trust is only built when you actually publish it 2 weeks out. If you don’t complete the action, you don’t build trust.
Trust is the basis for cooperation
This is critical for any team environment—and we know all restaurants rely on team action. Without cooperation, you have no collective action. If the kitchen is in the weeds and needs runners, they need runners, servers, and managers to be compliant with the agreed upon expectation that food needs to get to the table. In that scenario, a lack of cooperation would mean no food gets to guests hot, and then the kitchen and chef lose trust in the team.
Trust is the basis for change
Individuals, teams, and organizations cannot change or adapt without trust. For example, if you make changes to the tip pool, you not only need to have an individual level of trust with those whose tips are being impacted, but you also need a level of trust within the team to adopt a new process and expectation.
Tips for building trust
Considering the importance of trust in building strong relationships, we wanted to share a few ways you can start building trust with your team. Putting these into practice and being consistent can go a long way when it comes to developing deep and lasting trust with your team.
Walk your talk
Clearly communicate what you are going to do, and then make sure you follow through. We’d also encourage you to think small here. What are small weekly tasks that people expect you to complete? The meetings they expect you to attend? Are you completing those tasks and attending those meetings consistently? Doing what you say you're going to do when you say you’re going to do it will help you build trust. If you aren’t able to walk your talk, make sure you are taking accountability for your actions.
Examine your motives
What makes you do the things you do? Do you seek mutual benefit in your actions? Our intent is most credible when we truly care about others. When people feel cared for and invested in, they are willing to offer us their trust.
Wisely allocate your time and energy
Are you relevant in your skills and knowledge? This does not mean you know everything. But it does mean that you are reflecting on whether the skills and knowledge you’re applying are relevant to the needs of your position.
One example is as folks move up in FOH leadership, they often feel pressure to have the same level of wine knowledge as a sommelier or wine director. But, if your role does not require you to run the wine program, sell wine, or have deep knowledge of wine, then should you spend all your time on it? Choosing the right place to put your energy is a critical piece of building trust, as people will come to know what to expect from you.
Invest in your professional development
Are you growing? Growth is an element of trust. Even if you are in the same role for a long period of time, you can always be learning, improving, and growing. It’s one way we can lead by example if we also want individuals on our team to grow and improve.
It’s also a way to show vulnerability—by admitting that there are places where you’d like to grow and things you’d like to learn, you demonstrate that you don’t know everything and are open to growth and change.
Conclusion
Ultimately, strong relationships are the cornerstone of a high functioning work environment, and building trust is a key way to create strong relationships. By reflecting on your current actions and asking yourself some key questions, you can build trust among your team members and achieve positive business results.
